Hi there!

After nearly 3 months of no Chris Blogs, I decided it was about time I hopped on over here, I’m aiming for a good chunk of words this time round and content which is bound to make you smile with the utmost joy, or not.

What do I have in store for you this time? Well, I’m going to waffle on about my own boring life for a while, then waffle on about Video Games because that’s just how cool I am and to finish, loads of other stuff yo keep you busy, just the kind of thing you need during exams.

myLife

It’s a been a few months? How have you been, busy? Of course you haven’t. A bit of sad news before I get too excited, the cactus I have, sadly passed anyway a few days ago, its truly tragic.

In terms of my internet shenanigans, don’t worry you haven’t missed anything, come to think of it a couple of you may have missed out on something I posted on Facebook a while back, I’ll chuck it right here so you don’t miss out.

It’s something I get asked almost every day, whether people mean it or not I don’t know, but regardless I still get it a lot. It’s been brought to my attention recently as I’ve seemed to become more annoying than ever, that one day I’m really going to cross the line. It worries me that eventually people will have had enough; it’s bad enough when I’ve known people for over a year and I start to become ‘repetitive’ and I start to wear people down.
The truth is I love my life, lots. So if I am being weird, odd and loud, sorry for being myself and enjoying my life. ‘Chris, stop’ and ‘Wow, you’re so embarrassing’ isn’t rare either, if you’re that embarrassed, then don’t be friends with me. Of course, I understand that I can be very frustrating at times, and like anyone there is only so much Chris you can have. I’m honestly surprised by the amount of people who put up with me daily, whether it’s family, friends or all those teachers that love me to bits. Then again, trying not to sound big headed, I realise that a lot of people actually do enjoy being around me (even if they never admit it), which is great. If I put a smile on your face, for whatever reason, then I can’t complain.
Ah yes, ‘Normal’ for five minutes? Perhaps I’m not the ‘abnormal’ one and that in fact it’s all of you who are abnormal, I could well be the only normal one. Or not. I enjoy being different, normal is boring, sorry to all those who see themselves as ‘normal’.
I’ve said in my previous 500 Word Post that “The Chris you see is the Chris you get, always.” In a way that is true, because the other side of Chris is one very few people see, it’s not that I can’t be normal or serious, it’s just I’d rather not.
One thing I might as well clear up while I’m on the subject of ‘normal’ is when I tell people that they’re weird I get annoying responses like ‘You Can Talk?!’ Yeah I can, if I’m so damn weird, then I can obviously recognise other people are weird. I’m not sure why people are so reluctant to admit they’re ‘weird’ or ‘strange’ all that really means is that you’re an interesting character. Well, that’s what I tell myself.
I don’t want to come across as some depressed teen, so if you’re going to take anything away from this make sure it’s positive, don’t ask me to stop being weird, I wouldn’t ask you to stop being yourself? Like I said last time, I don’t expect anyone to treat me any differently, I love you all anyway.
On that note, I’ve nearly reached 500 words! Thanks very much reading and why not spend some time with little odd me, you might just crack a smile or two.

Yes, this is the end, I’ve put in in bold for all the cool kids you wanted to scroll past the big block of text.

On the subject of that amazing book I’m writing, you know that thing? I’ve planned out most of it now, splitting it into 3/4 parts those of which include around 10 chapters, as I’v e now nearly finished chapter 6, I’ll be making the chapters follow characters specifically, developing sub-plots and making mini ‘finales’ at the end of each part. I’m also tempted to change narrative for 3rd person to 1st when I start the second part, it’s what I did originally, but I don’t really like my main character that much, not a good sign.

Don’t have a clue what I’m talking about?

Download the first 5 chapters Modus Operandi (Chapters 1-5) (24)

It’s a .doc file type so is should be compatible with all of you, please bear in mind this is still in the ‘works’, I’ve re-written the first chapter about 4 times and renamed one of the characters at least 5 times. If you like it, please let me know and if you want to offer some constructive criticism, please do

On the blog front, this will be the last for a few weeks, but once the exams pass I’ll try and get a few ‘quality’ posts out there, nothing to get excited about really.

Video Games

Video Games in the home isn’t anything new, the NES launched in 1986 (in Europe) is the 2nd biggest selling console of all time. However it’s in recent years where the video game market has changed rapidly, it’s becoming less and less ‘nerdy’, which is great, in ways. When Nintendo launched their DS in 2005 it was the start of something new, ‘Brain Training’ games released, interesting people who would never have thought about video games before. The Wii then shone, selling much more than the Gamecube and getting the whole family to play together and in some cases even try to keep fit. I’m not here to talk about the success of the Wii, I’m here to talk about how Nintendo have ruined the gaming market for gamers.

The Wii’s launch line up was poor, like most and from the word go it didn’t arouse tons of interest from ‘new gamers’, instead the launch of games like Metroid Prime 3 and Mario Galaxy kept the franchises neat and original, keeping the ‘fanboys’ happy. It was when the ‘Wii Fit’ showed up, creating new gamers across the globe, of course with loads of sales everywhere, Nintendo had finally tapped into a new market and they’re not giving up and neither are 3rd party developers. Companies like Ubisoft release game after game for the DS and Wii and none of them worthwhile, we don’t want another ‘Catz’ game, I’d much prefer you get to work on Assasin’s Creed 3 please, thanks.

Of course, the ‘new gamers’ a great for the market, at least the Nintendo side of things but the Wii’s success really isn’t all that special even though their console is by far the cheapest (at launch) at they have a whole new market behind them, their overall sales amount to just over 70 millions, while the PS2′s sales passed 140 million after September of last year, that’s double, and when you look at it like that, maybe the Wii isn’t that much of a huge success. They may have tapped into a new market but that clearly still isn’t as strong as the Playstation 2.

The motion sensor fad is wild too, when seen as a gimmick at launch it seems it charmed everyone, even Microsoft and Sony who are releasing their attempt at motion sensor controlling later this year. We can’t stick the negatives though, this year seems promising for games, with releases like Alan Wake, Red Dead Redemption, Mario Galaxy 2, Heavy Rain and God of War 3 all huge titles and to be released at the start of the year, is a rarity.

The Year 2000

Honestly, it kind of sucks that the first decade I’ve lived through has been given the lame titke of the ‘noughties’, then again what are we going into? Is the next decade seriously going to be called the ‘tens’? Anyway, for the next few blogs I’ll be highlighting the past decade and all its glory, or not so.

The Year 2000 was of course the new mellenium, which for us brits meant the opening of the millenium dome, which as you know now, was a big heap of fail. However, it had also brought a big sigh of relief to everyone, we had survived the millenium bug (aka the Y2k problem). For those who don’t know, this was a big scare in ’99 but it wasn’t a scare for our health, but for your computers, apparently it was said the clocks wouldn’t be able to pass 1999 to 2000, without any clock rate in the computer, the computer would just totally break. What people were forgetting is that, computers are clever, so clever in fact that they can count past 1999. There was of course some minor problems to be found, if you’re actually interested in any of them, read the wikipedia article (Here)
The year really did put its foot down on the fail pedal then as George Bush was elected President of the United States.
In Music terms ‘N Sync (Who?) Eminem and Britney Spears topping the charts. The telly, I found out today that 2000 had a ‘C-Day’, I guess this is similar to the Youtube change a few months back, the day brought advertisements in 16:9 widescreen, lovely.

Everything Else

Youtube videos ol’ ReadySaltedChris? No, it’s not happening.

Let me enlighten you with a couple of my favourites over the past few weeks;

With the world cup coming up, it seemed like a good idea to get myself an England shirt, after browsing the web, I found a site selling them for just £20, link (here)
As for the world cup, it totally sucks Rio is injured, my confidence isn’t much, I’m hoping we’ll atleast pass the group stage, but you never know these days :/

Once again, please check out my first 5 chapters of my book;

Thanks a lot for reading, good luck with your last few exams, see you on the other side.

Or something.

- Chris

Word Count: 1719

And Chris is here to help with those dreaded chemistry calculations.

The presentation below details the main stuff you need to know for Unit 1 A-Level Chemistry, enjoy!

Fuel (an Oil Refinery and a ‘Sniper Haven’),

Trailer Park (a errr, trailer park)

and Carnival (a disused amusement park).

The two returning maps are;
Vacant

Strike

The maps are due for release on the Xbox 360, June 3rd for the expected 1200 Microsoft Points.

Release on PC and PS3 is likely to be a few weeks after, similar to last time.

All you have to do, is download the file below, fill it in and revise. You can thank me once you have passed

Features:

• Simple and easy to use interface
• Beautifully laid out
• Bright and vivid colours
• Spaced into 3 Manageable Revision Areas

Download here:

Dave’s Incredible Exam Revision Timetable (182 Downloads)

(I decided to use the New 2007 Word Office format, if you dont have it click here to get the update)

- Dave

I should really stop blogging when I have know idea what to blog about.  Any way as usual I have been asking around for ideas and have now got an idea.  Dave said I should blog about who I love but this is already common knowledge so I am going to blog about what I love which is football so if you dislike football you will hate this blog.

As anyone who knows me well will know I love football and get very passionate about it (yes I shed a tear when England get knocked out of the world cup).  In this blog I will assess England’s round one opponents so this blog will be all serious from this point.  Below is Englands Group

Algeria
England
Slovenia
USA

On first glance it actually looks pretty easy but when you have a second look it’s not.  I am not saying England shouldn’t get out of the group because they should but what i am saying is once again England fans have gotten ahead of them self’s and could be facing a very disappointing summer in 2010 if England fail to live up to expectations once again.

Lets take a look at the teams England’s first game will be against the USA in  Rustenburg.  England have played the USA 9 times and have won 7 lost 2 but England have only once played the USA in the world cup and they lost 1-0.  USA’s Main goal threat is David Beckham’s LA Galaxy team mate Landon Donavon other notable USA players are Hull City’s Jozy Altidore who was the USA’s top scorer in qualifying, there is also Fulham’s Clint Dempsy and Everton’s Tim Howard.  The USA is defiantly England’s toughest opponent in the group stage.

rustenburgs Royal Bafokegen stadium capacity 40,000

England’s next game will be 6 days later against Algeria in Cape Town’s Huge Green point stadium with it’s capacity of 70,000.  Algeria making there first world cup appearance since 1986 have never played England. Algeria only scored 17 goals in qualifying which is an average of 1.31 a game.  I personally think they will struggle and will most likely finish bottom of the group but it is an achievement for them to just reach the finals and there will be very little pressure on them so they may just throw up a surprise or two (but probably not).

Cape town’s stunning Green point stadium capacity 70,000

England’s final game will be against Slovenia in Port Elizabeth’s Nelson Mandela port stadium.  England have only played Slovenia once and won 2-1 but this doesn’t mean England will beat Slovenia in South Africa after all Slovenia beat the Mighty Russians in a playoff to reach the finals, so Slovenia will be know pushover.  Slovenia scored 20 goals on the way to the finals which is nothing special but they only conceded 6 and 2 of the goals were in the playoffs against Russia so with there defensive recorded Slovenia are in with a good chance of reaching the second round which would be a huge achievement for a nation with a population just over 2 million.  The Slovenia team is not full of stars and has built it’s success on team spirit there main man is Cologne striker Milivoje Novakovic who netted 5 goals in qualifying and was Slovenians top scorer.

inside the impressive Nelson Mandela stadium with a capacity of 48,000

England may or may not get out the group stage of the world cup, but one things for certain.  The group will defiantly be a lot harder than most people think. Thanks for reading I will be back next week with another blog

http://thetechlife.co.uk/blog/glenn-blog-11-back-from-retirement#comments

“Thirteen will be based on the discovery of an unearthed ancient burial site in an area of unexplored woodland known as the Dark Forest.”

This is what Alton Towers has to say:

“TH13TEEN will be based on the discovery of an unearthed ancient burial site in an area of unexplored woodland known as the Dark Forest. Built on the site of the old Corkscrew rollercoaster, visitors will be invited to take a petrifying ride on Thirteen, venturing into the seemingly living and breathing Dark Forest.

The ride has been developed with the world’s leading coaster and thrill consultants who have collaborated to combine the ultimate elements of physical and psychological fear – to create what experts are dubbing a ‘psychoaster’.”

Update

The trailer for the new ride, seems pretty creepy. Certainly captures the audiences attention!

“If you go down to the woods today, you better not go, alone.”

It was revealed on 17 March, 2010, that the ride is the “world’s first freefall drop rollercoaster”. This consists of a section of track, on which the train parks, which is propelled downwards vertically. Watch the video below of the first riders on “Thirteen”

More can be read at their website here.

Sources: AltonTowers.com

I have blogged today instead of Monday because I will either be celebrating Rangers winning the cup or I will be crying instead of blogging because they have lost (I know very manly).  I once again have started blogging without knowing what I am going to blog about (and you all thought I could plan such quality).  For the third week in a row I have have harassed Chris, Ellie and various other cool kids for ideas of what to blog about.  I usually get given at least one great blog idea like to blog about how cool Griff (He is very cool).   Any way this gave me an idea for a new blog format, I will blog about what ever you tell me to so if you have any blog ideas either leave a comment, tell me on Facebook or e-mail me on Itsameglenn@hotmail.co.uk .

Here is Griff looking cool with his good friend Derren Brown

Well this week has been full of surprises such as me getting a question right in chemistry, out chemistry teacher actually turning up to a lesson and I made my first ever friend.  But the biggest surprise this week is that Dave actually blogged,  I thought it was pretty epic and his comment for charity idea was also very good lets all keep our fingers crossed for another Dave blog.

Any way this week I asked Ellie for blog ideas,  she told me to blog about food, Mr Bean and this other guy I can’t remember his name so because I can’t think of any other ideas I will finish my blog by blogging about  Food.  As some of you will know I love food and I will eat just about anything but I am a useless cook.  My cooking fails range from nearly setting fire to a sink with hot oil to screwing up frying prawn toast, I also took food as a GCSE and managed to pass it with a C.  Although I have know idea how I managed this because in my final exam there was a question which asked me to design a savoury product which has egg in it, I designed a Lemon meringue (FML) but still passed .

Chris: That design question was for food was so easy what did you design Glenn?
Glenn: Ye I know I have destroyed the exam it was so easy I designed a Lemon meringue how about you?
Chris: You did what you do know you were supposed to design a savoury product you are the biggest idiot I know!
Glenn: FML

Before I go I will unveil my guy and villan of the week.

My Guy of the week is Chris for playing Pokemon on his DS in chemistry (what a Pro)

My Villan of the week is Hitler (again) because lets not beat around the bush he is a pretty nasty guy.

Thanks for reading see you not next Monday but the Monday after Bye Guys.

Head over to here and text “TEXTANDWEB” to “21300” for free. And see the amazing deals below:

Not quite as simple as O2. Head over to here and click “Confirm”

You will have to register to the Orange website. Offers the same:

• £10 = 300 free texts + 1mb Internet
• £20 = 600 free texts + 1mb Internet
• £30 = 1000 free texts + 1mb Internet

Lucky people on the network 3 have all the awesome offers automatically. If not, see them here.

Vodaphones deal is pretty tasty. Head over to here and call “2345”. Apparently it’s that easy to get unlimited texts during weekday evenings and weekends for £10!

T-Mobile doesn’t have the greatest deals but they are still good. Check them out here. For unlimited texts for the weekend Text “WEEKEND TEXT” to “441″ before you top up.

I will get Virgin updated once their website comes online! Also don’t hold theTechLife responsible for any problems (Photos under their copyrights)

I hope this helps you save money. Don’t forget to comment, Digg and share!

- Dave

Where have you been?

I couldn’t possibly explain to you how incredible my life has been in the last few weeks, filled with such joy and happiness, “cba” “fml” and even “end my life now” haven’t even crossed my mind. Not even once.

Just thought I would bring out the old pig photo. It never fails to intrigue me to what the hell it was doing there.

Dave’s Law?

More importantly I have discovered a fundamental law in life, almost like one of Einstein’s theory’s, but far more relevant to your well being. I’ll explain “Dave’s Law” (I know, very imaginative) to you avid readers at some point in the foreseeable future. But for now I shall leave with this incredible suspense.

It’s exciting to announce to you that I’m going to be posting frequent blogs from now on. I guarantee at least one action packed blog a week*

*Assuming I get at least 100 views on this blog, and don’t count on the action packed-ness.

Moreover, I have been listening to a lot of music. Specifically music which takes me on an emotional journey. In fact, I even created a playlist specifically for the music which makes me warm inside. Listen to the songs below to get a feel for the kind of music I’m talking about here..

Songs of the Week

• Paramore – We are Broken
• Toi + Moi – Gregoire
• The Funeral – Band of Horses

Who is Derren Brown?

I went to see the Derren Brown on his new tour “Enigma”, it was ridiculously clever and incredibly entertaining. But to meet him and tell him I loved him is a different story altogether…

Don’t dwell on the size of my head. Please.

News of the Week

• Beckham’s Injury puts him out of World Cup

(Image source: SkyNews)

• Phil Brown, Hull City manager gets the sack
• $14million name: Sex.com for sale
• Worlds Tallest Dog

Funny Twins Picture..

What, you don’t get it? (Image Source)

The new OK GO video, just as epic as the first one

What a skilled rabbit

I think that’s enough crap for a week. On to some more important stuff…

<nerdy stuff>

Don’t you just hate it when your laptop BSOD*s?

(I forgot how cool I was..)

Yeah me too, and I get it every god damn 2 hours. I hate Microsoft’s attempt to try and make me install the paid version of Windows 7.

*Blue Screen of Death…

</nerdy stuff>

My fellow readers

Well that concludes the end of the blog.. For every comment on this post (including name and an interesting/funny fact) I shall donate to this Fridays upcoming Sport Relief 50p*. Now how’s that a motive to comment eh?

*Seeing as I tend to have thousands of comments, I will have a maximum. But feel free to comment anyway

Comment, Digg and Share

- Dave

Also last week I like Chris read Twilight and as much as it pains me to say I actually thought it was really good, and Edward Cullen is my new idol and I think every guy should aim to be like him because:

• He can run faster than Usain Bolt.
• He is the strongest guy in the world.
• He never needs to sleep.
• Everyone is in love with him.
• He glows in sunlight.

He is a pretty manly guy right?  On the other hand Bella is on of the worst book characters ever all she does is moan and nearly kill her self.  After reading Twilight I had to wait a couple of days till I started New Moon or I would have gone into depression because I was spending to much time reading about the world through Bella’s eyes.  I don’t even know how she can be so negative she is one lucky girl. here is a list of reasons why Bella should be happy:

• Her Dad bought her a car/truck.
• Her boyfriend is a superhuman.
• Her boyfriend has crazy amounts of money and keeps trying to buy her things.
• She is pretty popular.
• Every boy in her school loves her.
• As well as a superhuman boyfriend she is friends with his superhuman family.

She has more things to be happy about than me and I am not depressed.  Now I am a total man because I have read Twilight an got in touch with my feminine side and after all only the most manly men can read romantic stories.

I am not going to lie to you I have ran out of ideas to blog about because unlike some people I do not lead a very interesting life.  Anyway seen as though it is my last blog I am still going to try and make this blog at least 1000 words which is proving a lot more difficult than I original thought,  ah don’t worry guys I have just had a brain wave.  As sports relief is just around the corner I will talk about that.  Now as some of you will know this Friday the school is doing a sports relief mile and various forms are doing different in aid of sports relief.  Now I have no problems with sports relief (I think it is a pretty good idea)  but running a mile for charity is pathetic.  If someone thinks it’s difficult to run a mile they seriously need to start running more often I would rather give a fiver to charity than sponsor someone to run a mile.  I ran over 15 miles last week for fun (It’s things like this why I have no friends).  Instead of sports relief doing the mile they should do something like a 10 k run, which is much more challenging and more rewarding for the person running it.  As well as raising loads of money for charity it will get the nation fit if we did a 10k run for sports relief .  Now after that rant I still need to write another 400 words FML (I should really go outside and make a friend instead of trying to finish this very bad blog)

Well actually I should probably stay inside and do nothing, because despite doing nothing on Sunday and eating 2 steaks and my own body weight in crisps I actually have lost 1kg over the weekend which is pretty scary I think I have the fastest metabolism in the history of man. My metabolism is just one problem my hair is another gigantic problem.  Any one who knows me will know I have a thick  pubic hair on my head.  Now I am considering doing one of 3 things with the pubic hair on my head 1) I might keep it the same. 2) Let it grow into one of Mother natures greatest creations the afro 3) or I might just shave it off.  I thought I would tell you this because need to reach 1000 words and it used up some space.

I am not going to lie to you I think I should have chosen to write my chemistry essay instead of this blog because it has been an epic fail, like low fat mayonnaise.   I have decided to finish the blog here because if I go any further it will only get worse although I have failed to reach 1000 words FML.  Thanks for reading this blog and all my other blogs I hope you enjoyed reading them and ignored most of the grammatical errors. This is Glenn signing out for the last time (or is it?) Good bye.