5 Steps to Fight Bullying

This will be an epic fail. I know.

I’ve decided, every Tuesday I will post my amazing guides to things you wish you knew.
Most things I do are pretty un-amusing and remarked as being sad, so after tremendous research and experience, this week I will present to you:

5 Steps to fight bullying.

Step One: First of all, if someone doesn’t like you, don’t try and be nice to them, a friendly “hi” or “alright” usually gets answered with some verbal abuse and something about being cocky/sarcastic. However much as this may amuse you; they don’t like it. Believe me, I’ve tried. I’ve failed… If you don’t believe me, check out this site…

Step Two: If you’re the kind of person who gets ragged and taken this piss out of (unlike me, I’m treated like Jesus at my school), read on. If someone says some kind of un-amusing joke about you, and everyone laughs. Join in. Don’t reply with some smart response, the chances are they won’t understand, (remember these guys are retarded) they will carry on with their jokes. Take this on your chin and smile.

Step Three: If you are a weedy boy and have no muscles, try not to get yourself into fights. Having no muscles in your arms tends to be a sign of weakness in a fight, try keeping yourself out of trouble. If somehow you find yourself in a fight, never have intentions to hurt someone. This may be seen as a sign of weakness; however you have the right mentality and will prevail. After learning this lesson, you may train to have big muscles, and one day, you may look like me.

Step Four: Being classed as a nerd and doing sad stuff such as wiping hard drives and installing unnecessary operating systems onto virtual computers isn’t cool (click here to learn how). Be sure you don’t fall into this trap. Act cool, and if someone asks you what you did last weekend, instead of saying the truth and admitting you installed Linux onto your virtual computer, follow Chris’s cool rules under “life”
Using this example usually does the trick: “Well I went to this bird’s party on Saturday, I met this hot chick, I don’t remember much though, having drunk so much”

Step Five: Stop hanging around with the “cool crews” they quite obviously don’t want you in their group, how about you find some real friends, who like you for who you are, going around the back of schools you often find groups who will accept you into their group. I’ve never really had this problem, as I feel I’m the centre of my crew, I’m often known as the “sheep leader”.

Like I said, I fail at life. I hope you didn’t enjoy this, I hope you don’t register to this blog, and I really hope you don’t check out my website as it’s a load of turd.

Goodbye

- David